Break UP

So here's one!

Year: 2007

Venue: Calcutta

My ex-girlfriend's birthday - 25th September

India v Pakistan T20 WC finals - 24th September 8pm.

Calcutta was witnessing one of the worst rains ever! The whole city had turned into one giant swimming pool. Commuting to major transport terminals like railway stations and bus stations meant taking a boat ride along the main road. No, I'm definitely NOT exaggerating.

She was my first serious girlfriend and it was the first birthday we were celebrating together and I had planned an elaborate party, including reserving a table and booking a cake at one of the city's fanciest joints! It took me almost 2 weeks of preparations with the water and rains and everything to get things organized. I was 20 and she was turning 17!

The stage was set!

Cake: check!

Bribing friends to bring her to the venue: check!

Surprise element: check!

Hiring a violinist to play at the bakery: check!

Burning a deep fucking hole in my wallet: check!

Well, it was now time to sit back and watch the world cup finals! We had a young professor and cricket fanatic as our neighbour and we decided to watch the match together. Well, I don't really need to go into details about the match since EVERY Indian knows about it (or so I hope!).

Just when we had given up hope and thought the match was all over, this happened:

It was a very exciting moment and our hearts were going at the rate of knots! Mine, for instance was beating like a jackhammer! It was a ridiculously tense match and once Sreeshant took the catch, our screams persisted for at least half an hour.

"We've gotto celebrate," screamed the professor.

"Fuck, yeah!" we all screamed back.

"Booze?"

"Oh, yeeaaahh!!"

It was now late at night and there was nowhere we could get booze with all the flood and all. However, turned out, our little professor friend was a real "handy" person to have around. He took out his mobile phone and dialled a number and spoke something Bengali, which I didn't understand back then. 15 minutes later, we were buying vodka from under the shutters, from a bar 2kms away, having reached there by a motor boat driven by his friend!

As goes without saying, the party went deep into the night discussing Dhoni and his long hair, Gambhir and his innings, Pathan's amazing bowling and swing, Misbah's misfortune, and Joginder Sharma, or rather, Joginer who?? Yeah!! Crazy night!! When I stepped back home, it was 3 in the morning.

And then it hit me!!

Fuck!

It was my girlfriend's birthday! What was I going to do?

I was so screwed!

I checked my phone! 67 missed calls and 44 messages! The messages began with: "Shona, half an hour to go! Do u wanna talk?" and "Hey Shona, u there? 15mins more" and "Shonaaaaa...where are uuuu??? U better not b sleeping!" to"I'm gonna fuck you up you bastard!"and "You're DEAD! You're fucking DEAD!!" and finally, "We're done! Guess who wished me before you - Shaunak! He's even asked me out for lunch! Guess what, I said YES! You can go fuck yourself from now! Guess who's dick I'm going to s*** now!"

Well, I screwed up! I missed her birthday!

I called her and apologized a gazillion times - didn't work!

I stood outside her college soaking in the rain with a bunch of flowers - didn't work!

I sent her teddy bears and chocolates - didn't work!

I apologized again, in front of all her friends - didn't work!

I lived happily ever after!!